Gluten Blog

Gluten is completely off-limits.  A crumb or cross-contaminated spoon is way too much for me to handle.  Soy is OK, I can tolerate it so long as it isn’t a lot of protein isolate like the type you find in vegan meat & cheese imitations.  I’m not a big fan of beans, either.

This brings me to tonight’s dinner.  Just like the title says: chuck-eye steak wrapped in maple bacon, covered in melted mozzarella cheese and dunked in BBQ sauce.  Yeah.

Other than a side of steamed broccoli and cauliflower,  it was a carnivore’s feast.  I’m not trying to say its good for me or not I don’t know.  I do know that I don’t get the pains that accompany various vegetables and grains like wheat.  I know I can eat about two pounds of beef and just a few green, leafy vegetables and feel pretty darn good.

Unfortunately, cholesterol can be a problem even when you’re at a low weight.  I’m sure someday I’ll wish I had thought of that earlier… For now, my high meat, high fat diet has brought me down to the lowest weight I’ve been in 10 years – I have more energy and I need less sleep – and I can thank being gluten-free!

As soon as my wisdom teeth popped up on the x-rays, we knew they were coming in completely wrong.  Not quite horizontal, they pointed right at my other molars and threatened to disrupt the entire row.

Luckily (I guess), they stopped moving for many many years.  They just sat there.  Maybe it was complications of Celiac and mal-absorption and there wasn’t enough nutrients to continue the final tooth project.  Whether or not that is the case, they are moving fast since I’ve been eating gluten-free for almost two years now.

I’ll spare you the details of the pain, but interestingly enough I will share that most of the pain isn’t in the actual teeth or jaw.  It actually took me a few days to realize exactly where the source of this was.  Its been going in waves for the last few months, but in the last week or two its been completely disorienting.

Fortunately, I was able to get appointments at the dentist for consultation, x-rays, and extraction within the next five days.   Hopefully, the surgery doesn’t hurt as much as the current status quo.

Prices are going up, everywhere.  If you’ve been to a gas station or a grocery store in the last few years, you know exactly what I’m talking about.  However, the guys at the federal budget office apparently don’t go to these places because they say inflation has been kept moderate at about a 2% rate.

Of course, when you manipulate the numbers like they do, its easy to see how they come to such an out of touch conclusion.

The government argues that food prices only rise at about 4% a year, but this is only true if the people substitute fresher, healthier, more expensive foods with cheaper ones.  According to the CPI, food is only slightly more expensive but what you’re eating isn’t as good as it used to be.  Here are some examples comparing the 1970s to now:

• Fruit:  In the 1970s, the average person ate about 22 pounds of fresh fruit in a year.  Since the price of fruit is skyrocketing, you only get 4 pounds a year today – and you pay way more for way less.
• Beef:  You can eat the same amount of beef today that you did in the 1970s, but it will cost a bit more.  Of course, the standard for beef in the 1970s was lean steak and today its high-fat ground beef patties.
• Fresh vegetables:  Fresh vegetables have risen 20% in the last two years.  So CPI assumes that you will eat less vegetables.  What’s it replaced with?   Sodas, cookies, cakes, and candies actually dropped in price, so they expect we’ll have more of that.

Now, for someone eating gluten-free on a budget, this is quite the conundrum!  Processed foods are essentially off-limits and fresh foods are becoming more expensive by the day.

This brings me to the title of my post, “Saved by the Potato”

• They’re cheap
• They’re naturally gluten-free
• They’re healthy
• There are literally hundreds of ways to cook them, season them, and serve them
• The high plant-starch seems a good replacement for wheat and helps promote a balanced diet

Don’t get me wrong, potato prices are going up too.  Unfortunately though, its only candy and baked goods that are dropping in price, and that won’t help you if you’re going gluten-free.

I drink a lot of coffee – I know, I know – its not very good but it tastes great. I’m trying to sneak extra calories into my diet and hot drinks are a convenient way to do so. I like plain coffee brewed strong, but then the fun of adding carbs and fats begins. If its available, I’ll use heavy whipping cream and vanilla syrup. Now, I love a 250 calorie cup of joe, but I can’t afford $5-$6 for these small bottles of vanilla syrup that are gone in a few days.

2 cups water

2 cups sugar

1 tbsp vanilla extract

Mix 1 cup of water with 1 cup of sugar in a stovetop pot. After the first cup dissolves, turn the heat up high and add the second cup of water and the second cup of sugar. Continue stirring, and add 1 table-spoon of vanilla extract as the mixture comes to a boil. When the sugar completely dissolves and the extract is evenly distributed, reduce the heat to a slow simmer and continue heating, covered. Occasionally stir and remove the lid to allow excess steam to escape.

Let the syrup cool and/or transfer it to a heat-safe, covered container. That’s it! Boil some water, add 50 cents worth of sugar, and you’ve got a $6 bottle of gourmet vanilla syrup. Warning: This stuff is addictive. I’m pretty sure it had something to do with the rise of Starbucks.

So, I was really missing pizza.  It had been about two years since I had a decent slice, and I just couldn’t take it.  After we got back from Christmas vacation I gave in and ordered a super-supreme pan pizza.  It wasn’t gluten-free, it was a temporary pleasure followed by the last two weeks of pain, exhaustion, and confusion.  The bad news is, I didn’t manage to get pictures of my gluten-free fried chicken for the website, yet.  I’ve also missed a lot of work and fallen behind on my publishing goals 🙁

I think I learned a lesson and I think I’ve put the pizza craving to rest.  The taste of wheat can be great, but it literally lasts a few minutes compared to what could be days or even weeks of suffering.  I should have known better and spared myself the sickness, but pizza is the one thing I haven’t been able to accurately replace with a gluten-free substitute.

If anyone out there has ideas about finding a good gluten-free pizza crust (or even a pre-made pizza! mmm) I would love to hear about it.  I’ve seen a few but they’re expensive and not available locally.  Any tips would be appreciated, thanks!